♥ brenda
Hello, my name is Brenda by birth. I really like dressin up. I love books and photography. I hate lizards, insects, things that slime or crawl.Neither do i like gore or violent films.
AM WATCHING MY LIFE FROM FIFTY FEET.
And nope, im not delusional.
screams
Monday, September 28, 2009
don't stop calling, i like you to be the reason i am losing sleep
since i first met you, i knew it was right.
the connection we had, there was no need to hide
and thereafter, hanging out and all
its just deepens, and i yearn for more
now that it has came to a halt
guess its time that i move on
greener pastures, bigger fields
taking on a single trip, for this waits proves no yield
goodbye mr lover, so long and see you.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
words that have never been more appropriateYou may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certanity of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise,
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds,
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame I rise,
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain I rise.
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear, I rise.
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear, I rise.
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slaves.
I rise,I rise, I rise.
-Maya Angelou
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Trying to fit my world into a picture frame.Having to finally be able to wake up abit on the late afternoon side is sure a great feeling. With the previous sentence you should have been able to conclude that I haven’t exactly been sleeping much. I’m as good as scraping through the bare minimum hours of sleep every day. And know what the best part is, I actually still have time to party, and go for dance class, despite my busy schedule.
Holding 3 jobs is definitely not easy; add on zero parental support, I know you love my life.
My parents could easily qualify as the greatest parents on earth, if I could equate them to the king of pop, they can pass of as the recently departed Michael Jackson. And no, its not me being sarcastic. I decided that I probably won’t be able to fight the fact that they are actually still going to be my parents, though now I am still under what is known to most as ,single-parent family, because my mum disowned me, so I am half an orphan.
So, what got me thinking and bestowed ‘enlightenment ‘upon thee you may ask,
Yes, I remember someone asking, “ if today was the last day on Earth, meaning Doomsday, who would you want to spend it with?” My answer was, “ my parents, as much as I hate them, they are still the people I want to spend the last day on Earth with- that is only if they want to spend theirs with me”
What’s your answer?
Many of you must be thinking, why not my stupid ex-boyf that I am still hung up on. Nope, it’s not him. As much as I hate to admit, I still do miss him and am still fighting the urge to call him many of the nights. Every single move I must consider, so as not to do foolish things to affect people around me. People that deserve more attention than him, he has got his big share for the past year- more than enough.
I have decided that he shall fade off from my life, and my first step was to clear out the memories.
Being the slum-bum that I have always been, I finally decided that I should clear up my room one fine day, all was fine until I start emptying my drawers- I was taken aback by what rubbish I actually had in the back of the drawers, NKF pens. I have like half a carton of them at home. And they could pass off as a collection of me being conned by them for years. The Pens are of a range of designs the spread through years.WOW.
The rubbish I cleared along with my collection of pens is almost as good as half a pacific ocean. So, I stopped there and then, and I am sitting here wondering when I will resume the clearing now that I have tons of other stuff on my hands.
Everything is alright for now.
Keeping my life in pace is what I’ve been trying to do, schoolwork is in check, work is awesome; dance is working out great too. And yes, I think I am fat, so I am still trying to lose weight. And so far, thanks to the busy work schedule, I have lost weight! And this shall go on \m/ .
Let go of all of the mixed emotion, walk out of hesitation. Together entwined inside this feeling, fate is sealing .And I whisper in your ear, the words are absolutely clear, don’t insist on stalling, just let the feelings come out of hiding, I know you are in love with me.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
hello, my momsy is now my ex-momsy.
she say she disown me.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
there are things that i want to say, but when i try to talk, people tell me about things they want to share with me.is it me?
why do i end up having to keep all the things i want to say to myself?
Saturday, September 12, 2009
with you, i dont ,mind committing a felony.
(:
but it all boils down otherwise.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
“Let us have a care not to disclose our hearts to those who shut up theirs against us.”
just home from a run, fill you in later.
let the waters run on my porcelain skin.
Monday, September 07, 2009
i have awesome parents.(that makes me pay for everything)
Yes, if you have known me long enough. You would have figured that i have never been on good terms with my parents.
Don't look at me questioningly, i know i might not have been the greatest daughter anyone could ask for, but im not a bad daughter, i can proudly say so, because i dont ask them for money, i live on my pathetic allowance. And i have to work to feed myself and support my lifestyle.
To those that actually bothered reading my blog, i haven't been blogging much becasue i am now shuffling 3 jobs. Holidays mah, why not, and no, im not going to be very rich by the end of the holidays. Because of my awesome parents, they decided that i should pay for myself.
Having to hear them break promises, listen to them saying things that i know willl never happen, looking at them buying things for my brother. Well, thats part of my daily life.
Feel sad for me? Never. i am going to make it big in life and show it to them, they have showered their TLCs on the wrong kid.
FML \m/
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
UH UH, i took red-boots for a stroll.
I think i have been clubbing way too much.
HOLD YOUR SCREAMS-yes, exams are over which means i have every right to club.
Exams were killers.They confiscated 2 weeks of my life, i became so good at calculating that while at the John Little sale today, i did my sums faster than that stupid old fuck at that cashier.YES, i will be a handy brainia-lator when there are sales on next time.
As of tomorrow, yours truly will be at a new job! Nothing magnificent, but something poeple will not expect me to do. I will still be working at NYDC, but just not as much. New job's payouts much better. Honestly, if you were to ask me about how the interview of the new job went, well, all i can say was, i was just being brutally honest- details left out on purpose to protect myself.HEH, i got it afterall.
ALL TO SAY : BLESS ME WITH JEANS TOMORROW.
Oh, and to add on, i think i am sick of seeing Jeslyn. Imagine, seeing her, since Thursday, then Friday till Saturday, parted at 6 pm. Met again at 2am. Stuck together till 6 am. She came over at 9pm on Monday, Stayed over till 5pm, and i am seeing her for work tomorrow, and prolly till Thursday morning.SO SICK
Anyway, i just came home from some wine at East Coast Park.Thinking i want to blog whilst waiting for my nails to dry.Looks like i lost my train of thoughts (again), I am so going to SWENSENS bed.
❤❤❤
p.s ex-boyfriends should never return to attempt to open hearts that they sealed years ago.
